Sometimes

I don't really know what to say today.

I found out last tuesday that one of my uncles had passed away the morning before. He had been sick for a long time - so long that nobody really expected him to give in. He was given six months to live almost ten years ago, and for the past six years two of my other uncles had been taking care of him like a baby. He had a genetic disorder, I've never been sure which one; he donated his body to science so that maybe other people with the same problems won't have to suffer like he did. He didn't want a funeral or a memorial service, but my mom did a small one at her home anyway. Neither of the uncles who'd been taking care of him showed up. My mom isn't speaking to one of them anyway, and hasn't been for as long as I've been alive. I didn't even know he was living in town.

I don't really know what to do right now. I still have homework. I still have things to do. I feel sad that I never knew Uncle M. while he was healthy, and haven't really seen him since I went to college. He wasn't well enough to attend Granny's funeral two years ago; his son is still living in Oklahoma, and I haven't seen him in years either. I'd like to do something for him, but I don't know what. "Sorry to hear about your dad, here's a hat" seems kinda crass.

I made sholeh-zard for the dinner; TwinSister and PrimaryBrother thought it was great, LittlerBrother wouldn't try it and mom says she's lost the taste for persian food. I have to wonder if there's an allegory in there somewhere.