Here's something we can add to that list.
7. Explain to my mother that when I say, "I'm filing my taxes independantly," what I mean is "Claiming me will screw me out $400, please don't claim me." This can also be translated as "We had this conversation last year," "I literally can't get more hours in at work (even if I stop sleeping entirely)" and "I don't have the money to spare, I'm moving in three months".
Anyone want to buy a kidney?