Friday, September 28, 2007

Time

Hey folks. I'm going to be a little late with the patterns. My mom called me up a few days ago and told me that my aunt Jo is dying. My cousins say she's got until some time next week, and they're trying to arrange the funeral for a weekend so all the out of state folks (like us) can attend. We were going to go and visit her this weekend, but she's already on so many pain meds that she's not lucid anymore, and isn't going to be. She's in hospice care right now. They're good people.

Turns out the colon cancer everyone thought was gone since the beginning of this year has turned into cancer of all of her organs, including her spine. So the pain meds are definitely a better alternative than anything else, including saying our goodbyes. I'm trying to not be angry when people tell me stories of non-lucid or coma-ridden folks holding on just long enough for their loved ones to come to terms with the fact that they're dying - "Because they know, they hear you, they know you're there" - even though I think that's a) full of shit, and b) cruel if it's true, since I wouldn't want aunt Jo or anyone else waiting around in pain for me to get my sorry ass together, and c) a really dickish thing to say to someone who's just told you she's not going to be able to see her loved ones while they're dying, and who has to ask for time off to attend the funeral of a woman who's not dead yet.

3 comments:

bj from Red Bird Ranch said...

Sincerest empathy and understanding. My brother has almost died at least a half dozen times (advanced liver disease) during the past year. We've rushed over, making those out-of-town treks to, again, say our goodbyes. Thankfully and sadly, he struggles along. I send to you the wish for safe travel and knitterly blessings to help with those difficult moments.

Sareth said...

I've just stumbled here from Ravelry, and I have to say I agree. Why would you want your aunt to be in pain, she's already been through hell by the sounds of it.

It sounds like she is truly loved by a lot of people.
Arranging a funeral for a living person is strange.

Morandia said...

You have my sympathies. I'm in a similar situation with my grandmother. I'd rather she just go peacefully and quickly. I couldn't agree more with what you said.